catalyst37

On a lighter note

2009-10-26T00:54:14Z

My last posting was a bit of a downer, and for good reason, namely venting. But Things aren't all that bad lately.

I finally got my third Leopard Gecko! She's got a curtailed tail (LOL). I got her for free when I purchased one from the pet shop since she was left at there door inside a box. Had chunks out of her tail and was not in good shape. She's so cute! and curious too. I like watching her climb about since the other two do not like to move around much.

School has also been going really well. I got 80% on my physics mid-term, and is offcially my best mark so far. No wonder, I have a really cute physics TA and I go in for extra help XD. Working in the chem lab has also been really fun. I am learning plenty of techniques and getting a head start on labs which I will be doing in later years by having to read up on and set them up. So school is going very well.

Today was the Bazarre of the Bizarre, which showcased plenty of booths with interesting trinkets and wares. I bought three T shirts and a book on Coffee VS Brains in the morning, a parody on how we're all zombies when we wake.

I am looking forward to next weekend and will try to finish all my assignments so that I don't have to worry about them till next monday. Should be a good Halloween as last year I was working and missed out on an apparently fun time.

Yeah, happy thanksgiving.

2009-10-13T03:06:26Z

Thanksgiving is usually a time for getting together with family and friends to fatten ourselves up with delicious food stuffs, and revel in the many fortunes that have happened to us in the past year. This year everything nearly went well and according to plan, that was until people started to dip into the booze.

Some family members with drinking problems which don't address them are starting to become a heavy burden on my mind. After all the visitors had left and the 'party' really got started I eventually had to make sure that two people didn't kill each other, act as a councilor to another (who wasn't drinking thankfully), clean up after ~~someone~~ a couple people that had too much and tossed, and overall play nurse to four.

Now you'd think that after 35 some odd years of drinking one would would have the capacity and experience to know their limit and act with composure, I know I have at 24. It's unfortunate that I have already figured out some basic tenets of life and some others who are supposed to be who we look up to still have not. It really does not help the whole respect thing. Perhaps it's that I feel I am so far beyond him in maturity by sheer virtue of sticking to a life plan and not becoming enticed with the latest get rich quick scheme that hits the market, which inevitably leads to failure and drinking. Seeing this debacle has really reminded me how much I enjoy being on my own and not having to witness what I had to previously on a weekly or semi-weekly basis, and that is something I am truly thankful for.

A couple things.

2009-10-10T05:52:06Z

I stumbled upon a wonderful quote. I am not sure if the commenter who said it was original or was just being coy and not citing it, "Never argue with an idiot, they will only drag you down to there level and beat you with experience" I find this goes well with quite a few people I encounter on a daily basis. Sound words. If anyone knows where it's from please do share.

Today someone asked me if I used twitter. I really hope he wasn't being serious, do normal people actually use that? I always thought that lj, facebook, and on a far FAR stretch myspace would suffice. I mean aren't you restricted to 140 characters?

Single Fly

2009-10-10T05:42:34Z

There is this ONE fruit fly which keeps buzzing around my room. I can't seem to catch it and I only see it when it floats in the space between myself and the monitor. I once caught it, but when I opened my hand to see if it was proper dead it just flew away. Now I see why Craig Venter studies these guys, they're a crafty bunch.

Takes a deep breath

2009-10-10T00:43:52Z

Been a while since I have ventured in this part of the net. I guess I should update.

The end of the summer was a huge bitch to work through. I was literally living pay cheque to pay cheque. I wasn't so sure if I could actually afford to go to school as my OSAP was not approved and it was a week before class was supposed to start. Then all of a sudden I got a letter in the mail stating that I was approved. However, my estimate was below what I could actually survive on. Apparently someone at the Natonal student loan centre got my estimate lower then it should have. They also didn't account for my *cough* disability. So when I went to go pick up my loan papers they reassessed my claim and I am doing just fine. I was able to wipe out a card entirely, and pay off most of my outstanding fees. On the other hand I also got into a lab on campus working for monies! So for the first time in my life I am actually financially stable :D huzzah for big accomplishments. I was saving two bottles of wine which I had from france for when I met three conditions, those being 1) Move downtown 2) Get back into full time studies 3) Become financially stable. About three weeks ago I got together with some close friends and we all enjoyed the wonderful wine. I remember how amazing that rose was, oooo I need to get my hands on more!

During the summer I had an impulse to just buzz my hair off and start fresh, I was becoming bored of the mohawk. It's now grown out to a managable level where I can style it slightly. Currently it's in that inbetween stage where I can't really style it in the way I would prefer, but I sure look like a normal white person with a dress shirt and tie. Also I became baby faced, no more beards for a while, nice and smooth. I would like to have long-ish hair again, but that will depend on my patience.

As for school, I am doing relatively well. I have a physics exam on tuesday which is scaring the crap out of me. Luckily I have a few days to study. My other exams were above average, sort of the good, not great, territory. I have been getting a long great with my profs, and they know me which is nice in a class of a few hundred.

Other then this overall things just going well for me. If there is such a thing as Karma it's being balanced out in the positive direction after such a long time of negative territory. Now to head out for a quick pint and back to read over notes.

Brief Lamentations

2009-07-28T04:08:13Z

I have realized quite suddenly things which I had previously had in my possession which I no longer have. It came as quite a surprise, but I think it was necessary to augment what I plan to have in the future. I recently had a discussion with someone and told them how I felt, although it was an inadequate explanation I feel they got the message.

I am looking forward to this school year, and will likely be quite happy being surrounded by new people. Work, although bringing financial benefits, is quite boring and see school as both a academic and social opportunity.

I have been working on coding and been hampered by set backs by technical difficulties. I need to get my test server up and running in order to work on a problem dealing with forms and emailing input information. PHP is a great language to do this in, however, if I do not get this test server up and running I will not be able to validate my code. The laptop will be my test. I just need to configure it correctly, hopefully I can do this shortly, as I planned August as a month of solidifying my XHTML, JavaScript, PHP, and MySQL.

Updates shortly, Life is good, even though money is still a problem Toronto keeps me satisfied.

catalyst37 @ 2009-05-09T19:31:00

2009-05-09T23:31:31Z

The Simpsons 1522 Fraudcast News

Trapt

2009-04-05T01:45:14Z

Trapt is the only word I can use to describe how I feel. Newmarket was once my salvation from living in the bounds of hell, out in the nothingness of small town. Now I see it with as much disdain as I once viewed those small towns, where dreams go to die. There is no progress here, no dreams that can be had anylonger. The point of development is long past and only holds me back from my desires and dreams. This place, wrought with neutrality and fakery, saturates me and I can bear it no more. Like the slow war of attrition on my sanity this place is chipping away my ambition and motivation and I must escape before it claims my most precious of holdings, time. I see those who as much lay down and die, accepting that a life with little in the way of socializing past the gossip of the workplace, walk around and purchase items which feed the gaping hole in their souls. My salvation is just out of reach, and it has been ever taunting for far too long. Just as a mirage on the horizon with the promise of an oasis of peace and prosperity, I eagerly chase that ghostly dream knowing that I might never reach it.

What a wonderful weekend

2009-03-30T01:50:30Z

I have not had quite a weekend like this in some time. Starting friday I worked at Suzuki again as they needed some extra muscle for the bike show they were putting together. Put some extra cash in my pocket and got to see some friends who work there again. Saturday started off amazingly with a visit from Laila, Viney, and Ja. They picked me up on the way to brampton and once we arrived we went shopping and had some amazing indian food. Being the only white person in the restaurant I got quite a few looks! I forgot the word lasi when ordering my drink and the waiter said "LASI" and smiled as if I didn't know what the hell it was called. I hate brain laspes like that. But it was amusing.

After the meal we went to the Hindu Temple just off the 427 and Finch, the one which was hand carved in India and shipped over here block by block and assembled using no nails or screws. It was impressive to say the least. The craftmanship was second to none, and the visuals were stunning to witness first hand. I will definitely visit again when the gardens are in full bloom. When we were finished Laila and Ja wanted to get their ears peirced so we found a cheap place.

It was getting a bit late so we decided to head back to newmarket but we didn't want to leave so it was back down to the city. I found us a place on college called I feel like crepe, and had some food before I headed off to the club and they took their leave back to Trent.

For some reason I thought that RvM was being held at Z, so I walked down and passed it entirely by about 10 minutes walking. I called Mike from Nails and found out that in fact I had passed it and when I got back to there it was closed. So I said frak it and went down to subspace. Turned out to be the better choice as I had a great time, I danced and hung out with Mags, Mike, and a couple other deviants. During the night I noticed this cute indian girl with her friend and they were dancing pretty close. So I just watched for a while and tried to see if they were together. Well this guy who was trying to pick up Mags walked up and talked to both of them and I was like "FRAKEN hell". Well when the one girl I thought was a bit cuter went to get her coat I asked flat out if she was seeing someone. LOL. She said no so we went off and talked for a while.When the club shut down we all went over to shanghi and had some coffee when this guy who is also named Alex came up and started chatting us up. Usually I don't mind but he was very annoying, and since he was Mags friend I texted her discreetly asking her to get him away! So she came over and was very insistent on sharing a sandwich haha. I admitted jokingly what I did to Pooja and she laughed because she felt sorry for him being the third wheel.

At around 4:30ish we all left and I drove Pooja and Ally to their place and chatted for about 10 minutes before I took off to Newmarket. But not before recieving a fond farewell.

Today I was in a bad way. My sleep was little and I had to get up and head up to my sisters birthday. It felt very short, the day that is, but I was glad that I got to see how happy my sister was to open her Canon Rebel XT. I took heaps of pictures and ate some good munchies before feeling very ill and having to head back home a little early.

This week should be quite good. I am meeting Pooja for coffee on thursday and have some of my new found responsibilities in student government coming up.

Limbo, sort of.

2009-03-05T20:19:39Z

Lately I have been feeling as if I have been in a state of limbo. Just sort of doing things with no thought of end or substance to it. Almost as if I am waiting for something to happen, but I'm not completely sure of what it is or even if it will come. Sort of, adrift, but not in a bad way, in a neutral way. I used to have a never ending drive towards something, even if it was a fleeting dream or fancy, but these past couple of months internally have given me little in the way of ambition. I hope that something comes soon, maybe once the spring shows its face and the plants and flowers will bloom I can go out for lengthy walks and fill up a couple of memory sticks on my Rebel XS. I think mostly it's just the winter blahs. In any case I hope it ends soon as I am starting to feel a little stagnant in my development.

On the other hand I am single again, which feels good not having to worry about anyone else. Sometimes being selfish with your time is just what you need to feel a bit better. I don't think I will be getting into any long term relationships for a while since I don't see any potential long term material around me, nor do I want to go through the months of second guessing of whether I should be in a relationship in the first place. I do have quite a bit I need to concentrate on like debts, forwarding school goals, moving to Toronto, so I am not sad in the slightest. But I guess that's usually the case when you're not on the receiving end. Overall I am looking forward again to just flirting for the sake of flirting and enjoying peoples company without any sense of restrictions.

Job searched out...

2009-01-17T10:55:26Z

The past couple of days I have been raping teh interwebz (yes ALL of them) for signs of so called "hidden jobs" and seemed to have made some headway. I found a whole bunch at places like the ROM, CN Tower, Universities, and odd places like toy marketers. I supplimented these with the ones I found on craigslist (as dodge as they are) , monster,and workopolis. From all the applications I have been tossing out there I SHOULD maybe perhaps please get some thing soon. I could totally cop out and get something at say tim hortons or the like but I just can not bring myself down to that level. Even if it is temp, I guess I don't have that basic survival instinct, in the social sense anyway. Thus I on I go and am here still filling out apps at quarter to six on a saturday morning. I can haz sleep now? K thnx

once again

2009-01-15T08:01:37Z

The onset of insomnia has reared it's faithful head once more. It's around 3am and I could have slipped into blissful slumber save the fact that just as I was about to there was a small disruption. Funny how things work like that. I was going to try math to put me to sleep as a friend suggested but I would just stare at the page. So I will watch some internet videos, and hopefully numb my brain just long enough to slip.

On the Agenda

2009-01-14T05:23:09Z

I have been pretty busy lately scrambling to find some sort of permanent employment which has been escaping me. Tomorrow I am applying for a couple more jobs I have been looking at, mostly in the admin/office industry. With any luck I should find something relatively soon, if not I am not sure what I will do. Finances are about as stretched to the breaking point as it has ever been.

Today was day one of Calculus and it was pretty well just review of logs, exponentials, inverse, and absolute functions. The course text and solutions manual was a whopping $200 used! Adding to my financial woes. Tomorrow is my chemistry Laboratory course, each week is a lab and a lab report. I hardly contain myself :D. I will also hopefully be braving the cold and taking some pictures of the CN tower and some other notable spots in T.O. A sample of dundas square is below. It was taken with a technique called exposure blending one of the newer techniques I have learned since getting my new Rebel XS.

I have stopped taking my Strattera since last thursday and I have felt a bit up and down from the drastic changes. I have the typical symptoms of impulsivity, hyper feeling, loss of concentration on one thing, and day dreaming. It kind of feels normal to be honest, almost feel human again. I am glad that I feel simple joys that I have long forgotten since being on medication, so there is always pros and cons to everything. I will be discussing my long term decisions for medication with my doctor at the end of the month.

Other then that I am looking forward to running for senate at Ryerson. I was approached by some CESAR friends about it and I thought it would be a great thing to put on a resume and to make some essential connections for years to come.

A question for the psychologists

2008-12-30T23:23:37Z

I have recently finished the book "How the mind works" by Steven Pinker (which I highly recommend) and it mentioned off hand that the hydraulic theory of psychic stress building up was debunked. Now it does not elaborate all that much on how it was debunked and what the replacement theory is which described the feeling of stress building up. Could anyone point me in the right direction? Oh I have tried to google and wikipedia but knowing the specifics I made almost no headway.

Thanks in advance.

Christmas cheer

2008-12-29T00:22:54Z

This holiday season was quite good. I made out like a bandit in fact. I got about 4 new dress shirts and a pair of dress pants and the coveted Canon Rebel XS to replace the XT which was lost last May. Near the end of January I will be getting a bigger zoom lens for it.

Fucking WIN!

2008-12-07T21:34:09Z

It's not the economy, stupid

RICK MERCER

From Saturday's Globe and Mail

December 6, 2008 at 12:56 AM EST

Forgive them Canada; they know not what they do.

Not long after Stephen Harper took office as Canada's 22nd prime minister, a polar bear was born at the Berlin Zoo. Known as Knut, the cub was summarily rejected by his mother and so was nursed by human beings. Now, two years later, animal psychologists admit that he has become so addicted to human laughter and applause that, the instant those things disappear, he becomes desolate and cries for attention. This has led to irrational behaviour never before seen in a polar bear. Experts fear that, without constant applause, Knut could lose the will to live.

Enter Stephen Harper.

During the past week, while the nation wondered if the government would fall, junior Conservative staffers were ordered to be outside 24 Sussex Dr. by 6:15 in the morning. Their job was to stand there in the dark with the temperature well below zero and wait for the PM to appear. Their instructions were to applaud, wave and sing O Canada loudly as the motorcade pulled out of the gates and drove Stephen Harper to work.

Enlarge Image

Comedian Rick Mercer. (Image courtesy of CBC)

Mr. Harper, by all accounts, actually believed that the young people were there of their own accord and represented a groundswell of love and support for his actions. Staffers in the Prime Minister's Office know that he is easier to handle when being applauded and not questioned. This way, nobody has to suffer at the hands of the inconsolable bear.

Enter Stéphane Dion.

Mr. Dion is a humiliated and beaten man. Nothing prepared him for the thrashing he took in the last election, and the subsequent rejection by his own party just made matters worse. For him, the applause and cheering stopped a long time ago. Given the chance to exact revenge, he seized it.

And so is it any surprise that these damaged, needy men are the architects of a parliamentary crisis the likes of which we have never seen? With leaders like this, we shouldn't be blamed for asking, "Why bother"

If this Parliament were a dog, it would be brought out behind the shed and shot. Rabid dogs aren't prorogued, reformed or trusted.

One game of hardball he couldn't lose

At first, this little crisis in Ottawa was good, old-fashioned fun — blood sport for political junkies that made for great entertainment.

It began, of course, with the government's economic statement, a colossal misstep for Mr. Harper. The nastiness and partisanship caught everyone off guard. Sane cabinet ministers had to grin and bear it as the leader revealed a strategy that not only highlighted the very worst elements of his personality, but reinforced the nagging cliché; that this Conservative Party cares more about inflicting pain on those they dislike than offering support for anyone in need.

Mr. Harper, the self-professed master strategist, figured this was one game of hardball he could not lose, but then a funny thing happened on the way to the vote in the House of Commons.

Mr. Dion may lack the basic skills needed by all political leaders, but he has a grasp of basic math, something the PM, an economist, seems to have lost. He crunched the numbers and realized that not only could the government fall, he could even become prime minister. Revenge like that comes once in five lifetimes.

In theory, a coalition could work. If aliens from outer space were running roughshod over the country, perhaps a Liberal, a socialist and a separatist could put their differences aside and work together to defeat the alien overlords. A global economic crisis, however, is probably not enough for these three wildly divergent visions of Canada to gel.

But whether the coalition can or will survive is irrelevant; what matters is that it can oust the PM.

Stephen Harper loves being the Prime Minister of Canada. Since he came to power, the motorcades have got longer, the office more presidential, the trappings more grand. The idea that he could suddenly find himself standing in line at the airport with regular Canadians, photo ID at the ready, attempting to board a Jazz flight to Moncton so he can explain to party faithful why he now travels in a Jiffy Taxi gnaws at his very being.

Knut the Polar Bear could not survive such a humiliation and neither could Mr. Harper. So he slapped his Finance Minister and tore up the economic update; he blinked and backtracked — behaviour not before seen in this political animal.

And this is where it should have ended; a substantial and unexpected victory for a lame-duck Liberal leader and a humiliating lesson to the Prime Minister. A nice little reminder to all involved that nobody was granted a majority in this Parliament, and we expect everyone to get along.

Tragically, Mr. Dion wasn't strong enough to put on the brakes. Or more likely, he was unwilling.

Enter the Governor-General of Canada.

Try explaining this one to those alien overlords: 35 million people in one of the greatest democracies on Earth stare at their television sets, waiting to see whether an unelected former TV broadcaster will choose to shut down our government for over a month or let it live just long enough to be killed by the opposition.

The drama that played out this week was many things: unimaginable, embarrassing and, yes, it made our parliamentary system look like a laughingstock. However, this situation was not, as Mr. Harper insisted, undemocratic, illegal or un-Canadian.

The facts are clear. He has a minority in the Commons — something he has never accepted. So he loves daring the opposition to defeat him, and prides himself on shaming them at every opportunity.

Them's the rules and he knows it. And yet, when faced with actually losing a confidence vote, he chooses to launch a full-fledged attack on the very institution he is sworn to protect.

He took to the airwaves saying that having him lose a vote would amount to a coup d'état. He knows this isn't true, but he said it anyway. Then his ministers fanned out and told everyone who would listen that an election was being stolen. They shouted from the rooftops that, as a nation, we elected Stephen Harper to lead us, that the 308 members of Parliament actually had no say in the matter.

Separatists: from wooed to whipping boys

Mr. Harper zeroed in on Quebec. The master strategist who has wooed that province for the past two years turned anything and anyone with a French name into a whipping boy. Memo to Quebec: Call Danny Williams; a world of hurt is coming your way.

And our Prime Minister suggested that, in a constitutional crisis, the Governor-General must not listen to constitutional advisers but to him and him alone. The PMO organized a protest at the Governor-General's residence. Staffers all over Ottawa were given the day off to stand there waving signs reading, "The Bloc Sucks" and "Stop the Coup." Surely the Queen was not amused.

Back on Parliament Hill, Minister of Bluster John Baird proudly announced that Conservatives would go over the head of Parliament and of the Governor-General. He planted the seed for what sounds like the Republic of Canada, in which Mr. Harper and not the monarch is the head of state.

One assumes that a Harper republic will differ from others in the world as he ostensibly will have majority powers without having that old-fashioned 50-per-cent support in either the country or the Commons.

All this made for a perfect storm. Our system works on the assumption that, regardless of whether we have a minority government, we will always be guaranteed of having a clear and decisive majority of rational men and women who will in times of crisis put nation over personal or party interests. It operates on the assumption that our leaders will put country before party.

Seems we are out of luck on that front — our bad.

The crisis has not ended but simply has been postponed.

In the new year, Mr. Harper will return with the biggest-spending budget in Canadian history. People who voted Conservative will be outraged — but their cries will be drowned out by the applause of the paid staffers again lining the sidewalk outside 24 Sussex. Knut the Polar Bear will bask in the adoration.

And, yes, the coalition may survive long enough to defeat them anyway — revenge being a dish best served at the first possible opportunity.

Meanwhile, this great democracy of ours has ceased to function. We have no government because they just can't get along. It is a mess that defies comprehension but has one simple solution.

We need one more strange-bedfellows event: a historic press conference at which Stephen Harper and Stéphane Dion apologize to their country and then to their parties. And then they resign — no questions please.

Because, quite frankly, they deserve one another — and Canada deserves better.

The Rick Mercer Report appears Tuesday nights on CBC

Special to The Globe and Mail

Clean up day!

2008-11-23T19:48:03Z

Today is a day for cleaning up and getting done the things I have procrastinated on throughout the week. On a sad note I can't figure out how to put the super mario bros theme on my phone as a ringtone. I blame Microsoft and it's anti-trust fascist (mario discriminating) asses.

Dear LJ,

2008-11-17T05:59:26Z

I find it's harder and harder to write what I would really like to down in the way in which it would express how I feel even remotely. When I was younger I used to be able to free flow very well, but I find it's just getting more and more difficult as times passes. I do have a whole bunch to say, and a lot that I would like to recall years down the road of the state I am in, but I find the words are so dilute to what I want to put down. Maybe it's the whole people out there will read what I am thinking and I don't appreciate that openness. So I could in theory simply "just me" my entries, but that also defeats the purpose of being in a community based online journal. Hopefully I will be able to get down what I want soon enough because as always big changes are around the corner and I sure would like to remember how I reacted.

The nerdiest thing

2008-11-13T05:34:40Z

I just got back from the midnight launch of Wrath of the Lich King, I feel dirty, but ooo do I ever want to get to 80!

/DND

loss of will

2008-11-10T07:51:50Z

The past couple of weeks I have been feeling just like... blah. I wish I could put my finger on the reason but just a general loss of will/ feeling of apathy has come over me. Minus Wednesday when I participated in the Protest. I really need to get my energy back, or I might just get into another rut. This weekend I wanted a day or so to myself to get my shit together, and even though I got my wish I could only really muster doing laundry at a leisurely pace. I am thinking part of the reason is having a suitcase lifestyle the past month or so, sleeping over at the gf's and friends places, not really having any time to myself. Because of this I decided to look for a job in Newmarket until I get enough money then find a different job down in the city. It would cut out $240/mth in transportation costs, and allow me to keep my room clean, and be a room rather then a place to just conveniently keep my stuff. Here's to hoping.

Gobama

2008-11-04T20:04:40Z

Today is the one day I wish I was America, or at least a duel citizen.

Gobama, Roflstomp the republicans candy asses.

Obsession

2008-10-25T10:56:01Z

Ok, so my boredom at work has hit a new peak. I started reading Ctrl+Alt+Del web comics and I managed to read three years worth in under two hours. I still have potentially another hour to read more, but I just can't bring myself to, for my head might implode. I think It's officially sandwich time. *munch munch*

Zombified

2008-10-24T09:28:46Z

So I have officially been zombified by lack of sleep and another 12 hour graveyard shift. I had requested to get moved up to a location a little closer to home. Or you know, NOT 2.5hrs commute after a 12hr overnight shift. I still have about 6 hours left until I can go home, and I am down to one last can of pepsi to provide me with that extra pep I need to survive. Tomorrow perhaps I will give work a call and give them a little push to find me somewhere.

In other news I nominated myself for Board of Directors for CESAR at ryerson. I didn't get the vote, it was between 5 people and the woman who got the position deserved it. She had the experience and knowhow to really get things done. But some of the other board members came to me afterwards and said that there are plenty of other positions I can get into if I want to get involved. Also those positions are paid =D. So I will look into that further tomorrow when I am able to form a comprehensive (or comprehendable) cover letter.

Overall things are going well. Looking forward to getting a regular cash flow again so I can proceed to moving out to the City. I can not express how much I am looking forward to that. Because I really consider everything that leads up to moving out as a prelude to life. Life begins with independence.

Workin the night shift

2008-10-17T09:50:22Z

Well, it is the second night of my Security job. Things are pretty smooth here. I can do practically anything I would like. Lets see... my brain is so tired that it is starting to hurt, so this commuting thing will get one week to settle itself out. If I do not get used to it I will be requesting a different location. Good news is that I can stay two days a week at Sandra's, and another couple of days at my Dad's friends in the east end. So I may be able to manage this dis-location living until January, Two days at Sandras, Two days at Krys', Three days in Newmarket. Well see, more updates later. My brain is officially off limits to critical thinking until further notice.

INTP_ness

2008-10-14T04:40:36Z

I have done the MBTI test every so often to see if I am consistent in my personality as described by Jungian theories. I used to be an INFP, but have recently strewn out the INTP result. Everytime I do these tests I read up extensively on Personality type pages and forum anecdotes from others in the same type to gauge the correctness and get a better perspective on my personality. I have to say that every since I started taking Strattera and have gained a surplus of focus and level headedness, I have been contemplating quitting my "jack of all trades" attitude and replacing it with a directed approach to one field or another. From reading up on my personality type I have concluded that I will persue the one thing that has always eluded me, namely Mathematics and Phys-Chem. By cutting out the biology I am able to free up course space for more physics and mathematics, while continuing my chemistry. The master test will be Calculus I in Janurary, or April depending on space.

Some incredibly insightful excerpts of my personality profile:

"They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into...They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding."

"Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories."

"Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing."

"The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways."

Since I have been able to focus, remember, and quickly form solutions better I have been concentrating on enhancing my vocabulary. Since my demeanor has changed drastically and become more enthusiastic about talking about anything esoteric I have been called "intimidating, both physically and intellectually" Which came as a complete shock to me. So I started asking around and apparently the past few months people have noticed the change also. So I looked in the INTP forums and believe it or not quite a few INTP's both male and female have experienced the same thing. Friends, Family, and new people alike perceive INTP's as intimidating, aloof, and disconnected. When INTP's are comfortable in their surroundings, they feed off intellectual conversations of varying interests, and often can relay in depth information and go off on numerous tangents. Eventually ending up back at the point they tried to make. This is very true for me, as when I explain anything, I feel compelled to ensure I am explaining everything correctly, and will go off on tangents if the person I am explaining to does not know about a small portion in the larger explaination. Also what surprised me the most was the fact that INTP's will often think about something, a pet project, and once they figure out the logic, or how it would work, neglect to put it into practice. I used to attribute this soully to lack of motivation. And it sort of is, but not in a conventional way. I do live inside my head, a "dreamy world" where I think about way too much. Which is where most of my pleasure about things is derived. So once I am puzzled about something, I attack it, figure out it's basic principles or how it works, then lose interest in making it. Part of the downside in living in theory.

Also, my best match is ENTJ, or ESTJ. In the case for ENTJ, they are decisive, energetic, enjoy challenging conversations and debates, efficient, and able to take charge of any situation. Which can balance out well for for the Introverted, theoretical, and efficient INTP. The second best match would be ESTJ, which take charge of the situation, are self confident, great at devising systems of action, unafraid to set things straight, good at doing day-to-day practical concerns around the house. Both of which would be able to keep the INTP in check.

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